Wouldn't it be great to get back at all those talentless hacks that have been holding you back from your true fame & fortune? Hmmmmm, maybe not. Harry Sheppard submits this cautionary tale:

A musician who's spent his whole life trying to break it into the big time is feeling very depressed. He's been turned down by every record company in the country, and no one seems to recognise his unique genius other than his Mum.

So he decides to top himself, and dreams up an ingenious plan to get back at all the institutions who've rejected him all his life. He goes into a Recording Studio and tells the engineer to record exactly what he says, and then copy it onto 1000 CDs, and send them out to all the record execs in the country.

He goes into the Vocal Booth, the Red light goes on, and he begins:

"This is a message to all you sycaphantic, talentless bastards who've ignored me all these years. I dedicated my life to writing beautiful, emotive, soul-touching music, and all you wankers do is bin my tapes and sign pretty-boy bands and the Spice Girls. Well, I've taken all I can of your purile, shallow industry, and it's YOU who've driven me to it!!! Bye-bye, murderers of Art!!"

With that, he pulled out a gun and sprayed his brains all over the Studio wall.

The sound engineer glanced up and said "...yep,..okay - that's fine for level. Wanna go for a take?"

Source: Harry Sheppard