Ah, the road life. With a window seat, you can see the picturesque view of everything Americana. It's a view that can't fully be described...you just have to see it for yourself. And then there's all the funny monkey business going on inside the bus. What a life! Why would anyone want to leave such a great world?

Well, maybe because you have to be criminally insane to stand the boredom, the backbiting, the.....anyway, here's a few choice non-quotes, brought to our attention by Evan Bauman:

THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR ON A MUSICIANS' TOUR BUS

Shouldn't we go back for the drummer?

Oh no you don't! It's my turn to clean the bathroom.

Checkmate!

Go roll 'em down the aisle all you want. They're only cymbals.

So, I just walked her home, kissed her goodnight, and came back to the bus.

Hey, who farted?

No, the monitor mix was perfect. I just screwed up.

Twenty percent? Our manager should get at least 30 percent!!

Why is there porno in the VCR?

Can you believe all the money we're getting?

Boy, I can't wait till we get to Omaha!

No Thanks, I don't want another beer.

Ladies, I need to see some proof of age please.

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."
--Hunter S. Thompson